I Can't Breathe
by Peridot809
Summary: Dear Diary, I love Dean Winchester and without him. I can’t breathe Dean/Elena
1. Chapter 1

-1 I remember the last time I saw him. I hated to leave but I had to. I loved him, I did but I couldn't take it. All of the arguing and the fighting, the tears, it's all too hard. How could I have thought that, after everything that we have been through, this would be a breeze? I still remember all the pain and love in his eyes but at that moment, it all seemed so fake to me.

_It was pouring rain_. _I was running. I had no idea what I was running from. All I heard was panting. I didn't know if it was a thing or a person. I bumped into someone. Beautiful green eyes were the first thing I saw. Then came the gun shot. I closed my eyes and the only thing I heard was a gun shot. He had his arms wrapped around me and he was holding me tight_

"_You're safe" he said_

"_I missed you Dean Winchester"_

"_I missed you to Elena Gilbert"_

I left him and for what, the fear of getting him hurt. He's a demon hunter for goodness sakes. He is the definition of hurt. Now what. I left him and now I have a Vampire husband. He would love that.

I still think about him. At night I can still feel him there. Beside me with his chest pressed to my back. When I would cry, he would calm me down in such a way that nobody else could. He knew everything. That I was adopted and that I was out on a quest to find her. We left during the summer, me and him. Near the end I realized that I didn't want to meet her but I didn't want to leave Dean. Deep down, I loved him more than I could ever have imagined. He was my all. And I left without a note or a goodbye. He never contacted me ever again.

I lied to Stefan when I said I couldn't have babies. But the truth was that I didn't want his babies, I wanted Deans. He was my protector. Sure Stefan had powers but dean had my heart. And that was all that mattered.I can't leave Stefan and hurt him the way I hurt Dean. Maybe I had to give up my happiness but as long as no one got hurt. It didn't matter to me.

Dear Diary, I love Dean Wichester and without him. I can't breathe.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm sure that I am the laziest author in all of fan fiction history. Don't hate me for not updating. I was in serious writers block. Plz enjoy. p.s more now on for the next couple of chapters it will be fillers. Thank you to all of those who reviewed. It means a lot to me.**

_Dear Diary,_

_ A man named John Winchester came today. He had two boys with him. Dean and Sam. Dean was the oldest. I saw pain. Pain that I never had seen in someones eyes. I overheard dad speaking to john about how his wife died 12 years ago and how he got some lead. Dean and Sam lost their mom. My parents were keeping something from me and I knew it. So what if I'm 14. I can know, but they won't tell me anything._

_ I don't know why but I keep staring at Dean for a long period of time. I couldn't deny the fact that he is very good-looking but there's something else. I had a feeling that this would go a long way. I just hope that we can be friends, even though he's very quiet. _

End

_I stepped out of the house and a car zoomed past me. _

_I knew it was Dean's by the car itself. _

_Older than what most people drive now but still in great condition. _

_I actually thought he might give me a ride._

_I thought Dean was stuck up but he changed my mind today. _

_Bullies. I'm sure Mystic Falls high school knew that word pretty well. _

_Tyler Lockwood bullying other for no reason. _

_He grabbed books from a guys hand and slammed them onto the floor without any reason. _

_I was going to pick them up until I saw Dean do it. _

_He picked them up, gave it back to the guy and walked away without a single word. _

_And guess who was following him. _

_Caroline. Oh Caroline, after guys every single day of the week. New day, new guy. _

_He actually was nice. And I knew that i could bring out the niceness in him more often._

_It was later in the day and I walked down stairs. _

_I saw him outside working on the car. I went outside to talk to him_

" _Hi, I'm Elena"_

_Silence_

" _Do you need any help"_

_more silence_

" _I'm pretty good with cars because when I was little my dad..."_

" _When you talk do hear a buzzing because that's what I hear when you speak" said Dean_

" _That's__ mean. I just wanted to say Hi.."_

" _look, I know this is your house and you live here but just keep away from me okay. I don't need your help and please learn to shut up one in a while" said Dean_

_I started to cry. I ran upstairs sobbing. _

_I thought I saw a regret in his eyes but it was only for a moment. _

_Later I heard a knock. _

_I didn't answer. _

_I saw a piece of paper under my door._

_It read SORRY_

_I smiled a little._

_At least he cared a little bit._

_He changed at least a little bit. _

_I finally thought that I got through to him. _

_Maybe I will finally get to see another side of Dean Winchester that no one has seen before. _

_It's a challenge that I am willing to accept._


	3. Chapter 3

_CHAPTER 3_

_**Just to clear things up I wanted to make Dean and Sam 2 years apart instead of 4 but I decided that I didn't want this to get confusing sooo... Dean- 16, Elena- 14 and Sam-12. How is Sam 12? His mom died twelve years ago. That's how. Enjoy and thank you all to those who reviewed and put me on their alerts list.**_

_I woke up the next morning and went to the bathroom. I was about to turn the corner until i saw something. Dean. No shirt only a towel. He was toned. Broad shoulders great abs's. I was staring for to long because he turned his head and he saw me staring. He smirked and left. I started smiling to my self. This was going to be a long day._

_It was raining outside. I loved the rain. I went downstairs for breakfast and everyone was there._

" _Hi Sam" I said_

" _Hi Elena" he said_

_I sat beside Dean and we ate. He said something to me._

" _liked what you saw this morning" he said smirking_

" _I have no idea what your talking about" i said, trying to hide my blushing face_

_Today was the first kind thing he did for me. He dropped me off at school. _

_He even held the door open for for me. _

_I thought that he was only doing this because he felt sorry for last night. _

_But I only knew half of it._

_Caroline came running my way. She dragged my under a tree and she was giving me one of her man-eater smiles_

_'' you know, if you wanted me you could have just said so" I said lightening the mood_

" _ha ha your so funny" she said_

" _So what is up with you and the hot new guy. Are you two together because if I were you I would so jump him"_

" _be my guest, we're just friends' I said_

" _Good because I was going to go and flirt with him and i didn't want to hurt your feelings" she said_

_I saw him talking to Morgan Finley. The popular senior. _

_I don't know why but I felt something in the pit of my stomach. _

_I thought it was from last night's dinner but it was something new for me._

_Jealousy_

_Jealousy can you believe it. I have never been jealous my entire life but why now. _

_What on earth could have made me jealous of them. _

_I ran to class because i was going to be late._

_ DEAN_

_I saw her staring. She turns a bright shade of red and her pj's were hot. _

_Short-shorts and a tank top. I'm drooling on the inside_

_I saw her come downstairs he looked great, i mean really great. Wow_

" _what the hell Dean" he thought to himself_

" _She's just a girl stop staring at her"_

_i started talking to her._

" _liked what you saw this morning" I said _

" _I have no idea what your talking about" she said trying to hide her red face_

_I decided to be nice to make up for last night so i gave her a ride to school._

_The ride was quiet but not awkward._

_When we got to school, I spotted Morgan Finley. Damn that girl was hot._

_I went up to her and we started flirting. From a distance I saw Elena watching_

_I started flirting with Morgan even more. For a split second I thought i saw jealousy_

_Then she ran to class._

" _goody two shoes" I thought and then I ditched_

" _Don't need school not like I'm going to college or anything. Why not just coast" i said to my self_

_ELENA_

_It was after school and I was walking home. What I didn't know was that Matt, my ex-boyfriend was following me._

" _Elena, wait up" said Matt_

_I waited but was frustrated. Matt had been following me ever since we broke up. I wished that he would leave me alone._

" _Matt, if this is about us getting back together, drop it" I said_

" _But Ellie.."_

" _Don't call me that. We're not together okay. We broke up. Please just stop following me. I hope that we can be great friends but nothing more"_

_Matt grabbed Elena's elbow and pulled her towards him._

" _Look Elena. I'm going to say this once, you are going to be my girlfriend and that's final" said Matt_

_He was hurting her. Lucky for her help just pulled up in a 1967 Chevy Impala._

_I broke free from Matt's grip and hid behind Dean._

_I wouldn't admit it out loud but I liked being this close to him_

" _Wow kid, that desperate huh. Can't get a girlfriend so your just picking up random chicks"_

_Matt was going to blow but decided to walk away._

" _I'll see you Ellie" he said_

_I got in the car with Dean and we went home._

" _So, let me guess desperate ex-boyfriend being creepy" he said_

" _yeah" I said_

_And we left it at that_

_That night after everyone had gotten to bed, i started to write in my journal when Dean came in_

" _Whats up" i asked_

" _Are you okay" he said noticing the bruising that Matt had given me_

" _Yeah I'm fine. It's gotten lighter so it'll heal soon"_

_he started to get closer. And my heart started beating faster with every step he took._

_He sat down beside me and inspected the bruising._

_I liked him being close to me but I would never say it out loud._

_I felt the heat coming off his body, He is really warm and has soft fingers._

_We looked up at each other at the same time and we were staring at each other with what felt like it was hours_

_It was ruined when he cleared his throat and started to scratch his head awkwardly._

" _uh yeah just wanted to check up on you so yeah..."_

" _ok" I said._

_ He was just out the door and I stopped him._

" _Wait" I said_

_I walked up to him, stood on my tippy toes and gave him a light kiss on the lips._

" _Thank you for being my hero"_

_He stood there shocked. He cleared his throat and said_

" _uh yeah no problem"_

_He walked away and I had a smile on my lips._

_I could still feel the tingling sensation an I hoped he did too._

_I even hear him whisper to himself " don't turn into Sam"_

_I let out a small laugh. He turned around and looked at me. I mouthed bye and closed the door. I had no idea that from that day on. Everything was about to change. But believe it or not I was ready._

I know I made Matt out to be a bad guy but he's just being a jealous ex-boyfriend. Thank you for the alerts and reviews guys. Please continue reviewing. P.S sorry for the late update. I am a teenager after all :D


	4. Chapter 4

"We're leaving "said John Winchester

Dean's shocked, after that kiss with Elena last night he didn't want to leave, but he's never admit it.

"Something wrong Dean" said John

"No everything's fine" said Dean. He didn't want to tell Elena but what he didn't know was that Elena was listening from the top of the stairs.

Elena wasn't upset. She wasn't in love with him or anything but she wanted him to stay. At least for a little while. Who knows maybe it could end up somewhere.

" _Hunters never stay"_ thought Elena

" _They move from one place to another, I shouldn't have expected him to stay for this long"_

There was a knock

" hey" said Dean

" hey" said Elena

" So, don't know if you heard but..."

" yeah i heard"

" about last night umm..."

" don't worry Dean, it was just a thing, it's not a big deal"

" right, so I'll be seeing ya"

Elena sits up from her bed " your leaving now" she said

" yeah we're packed and ready, I wanted to say bye. Sam's down stairs"

" yeah, I want to say bye to him"

they both walked downstairs to see John inside talking to Sam and he was pouting.

Elena walked over to Sam and gave him a bear hug.

" be said okay" said Elena

"I will" Said Sam

Elena said goodbye to John and only Dean was left

" Bye" She said

" bye"

Elena went to go hug him but he just stuck out his hand

" _He want's to shake hands" Elena thought_

" _What the hell, shaking hands, who am I Sam" thought Dean_

The shook hands and Dean walked through the door

Elena's dad cam inside from talking to John

The only thing they lastly shred was a look. A look that showed this won't be the last time they see each other. Something bigger will come their way and it will be huge. All they have to do is wait.

What they don't know is that the heart wrenching love and heartbreak it about take them for a spin

**Sorry it took so long. Writers block. I know this was very short but from know on its going to be regularly. **

**Also shout out to Dark-supernatural-angel. :D your awesome**


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Diary,

I'm sitting in a cemetery right now writing in you. Right beside my parent's grave. It's been a long time. I'm tired of crying. I've been doing that for a long time now. I hope things get better soon. I'm worried about Jeremy. He hasn't been himself. I feel like some is watching me through the fog. All you can here is this one crow. Just like I can only feel one thing which is regret.

Elena walked home through the night. Again she felt like she was being watched and kept looking behind her shoulder. When she walked home she saw a very familiar car in her driveway. A smile crept up on her face. She walked inside

"Home". That was the first thing that popped into Elena's mind. The picture of her parents just sitting there staring at her. She felt tears sticking to her face. She saw her Aunt Jenna talking to two men. Their back was turned away from her, but she knew exactly who they were.

"I'm home'' said Elena

They all turned around and she saw Sam and Dean Winchester. They smiled and so did she. Elena ran up to Sam and gave him the biggest hug she had ever given anyone. She turned to dean gave him a hug to. She pulled away.

"Missed you guys' she said.

"We missed you to" replied Sam

"Please tell me you guys are staying here, It would be terrible if you had stay in a crappy motel room"

"Jenna is one step ahead of you" replied Dean with a wink

Soon after dinner Elena went up to her room. She took the picture of her parents and held it close. Tears threatened to fall. What she didn't know was that Dean was standing outside her door. He came into her room and sat beside her bed.

"I'm sorry" he said

"It's not like you caused it"

"Still I know the feeling when you lose someone close. Where's Jeremy?"

"He hasn't come home yet" She started to cry like a madman.

"He's my brother and I can't take care of him. He's my responsibility now and I can't even keep track of him"

Dean tried his best to calm her down.

"He's going to realize that he needs you just like you need him and he's going to get better. I promise. Now go to bed you need sleep."

"I thought you didn't do chick flick" Elena said with a smile

"Yeah well…. Shut up" He smiled

Dean turned off the lights and walked back to his room. Elena prayed that tomorrow was going to be better. What she didn't know was that tomorrow was going to change everything.

"Hi I'm Stefan Salvatore" He said

Elena kept looking into his eyes. There was something warm and comforting about him that made her smile

"Hi I'm Elena Gilbert" This is where it all started.

Sorry for the late update summer has made me lazier than before. Also this chapter is after Elena's parents died. Also I'm losing the muse to write this story so the next chapter will be my last. I don't' have much inspiration to this story so I will start a new one.


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